NFL Blogout Day 4: Tweet Like a Billionaire

Yes, you read that right.  Day 4 of the blog lockout.  No progress has been made in negotiations.  Careful readers may have noticed that Paddy has used union muscle to deface and graffiti the Colts blog you know and love (weareindy.com in case you were thinking some other, more legitimate, site).

Since Paddy continues to insist on an unfair division of revenues, I will continue to lock him out and blog about the Colts.  Today, in an homage to NFL Owners everywhere, I am going to teach you to Tweet like an owner.  My model, our very own Jim Irsay, who you will see, has his tweets prominently displayed on our blog.  So, without further ado . . .

Tweet Like a Billionaire (Jim Irsay Style)

1. Quote random partial lyric from a well known rock song, preferably classic rock but some alternative will work.
2. Announce some bizarre contest in which you will give away a few hundred bucks if someone correctly guesses both some football trivia and something entirely unrelated and a little off-the-wall.
3. Immediately announce someone has already won.
4. Random statement of any sort as long as it has the sound of being incoherent.
5. Mention eating dinner, but a Waitress must fit prominently in the statement.
6. Shout out to some athlete, not necessarily a Colt.
7. Quote random partial lyric from a well known rock song, preferably classic rock but some alternative will work.

To prove that this works, please read my example below, and you would swear you were reading Irsay’s twitter feed.

Jim Irsay

1. Hey hey mamma said the way you move, gonna make you sweat . . .
2. 5 hundred big 1s to 1st person with Manning’s # and what’s in glove box of my bmw details 2 come!
3. The winner is @wtf!  Abby will get a hold of you!
4. Get SOME!
5. Waffle Stop n Shake!  Luv Lucinda’s looks 2 nite!
6. Way 2 Go #4.
7. Some folks are born to wave the flag . . .

*Rick O’Shay wishes to make it known that he is a huge fan of Irsay and thinks he is the best owner in the league.  He does not wish to dissuade Mr. Irsay from giving him season tickets or a ride in his private jet, so he wishes to make clear that the above is all in jest and is relying on Mr. Irsay’s sense of kindness and generosity to overlook any grievance he might feel.