Before I hop into the game analysis, we need to talk about The Neck. This whole Manning Neck situation is crazy. Peyton looked fine on TV tonight, yet we had to go get another QB at literally the last second. Something just doesn’t add up. I think it is a big elaborate ruse like Tom Brady always being listed as injured on the Patriots injury report and 18 will come out on Day 1 and freak everybody out by being awesome. What really makes me suspicious is how long this problem with The Neck has gone on. It has been months. When The Father broke his neck and had to be completely rebuilt with pieces from Harbor Freight, he was up and back in the recliner, watching TV, and eating snacks in a matter of days. Like I say, something about Peyton’s situation just doesn’t add up.
Since this was a preseason game, I am only blogging the first half. The awesome and mighty fantastic Paddy was supposed to come off the bench in the second half and get some reps with our second stringers.
Blue Collar Award
The winner of tonight’s Blue Collar award is Kerry Collins. He would normally win it on the basis of possessing a grizzled grey beard alone, but the fact that he came out of the easy retired life to play football makes him the obvious winner.
White Collar Award
We are not awarding a White Collar Award this evening. From all the mix-ups and misunderstanding about the QB situation as well as how the game looked tonight, it is pretty clear that this team is coming apart at the seams. Incompetence doesn’t win awards (unless it is an award for incompetence).
Given the nation’s obsession with The Neck, tonight’s analysis will be vertebrally themed.
Cervical Vertebrae (Neck Bones including the awesome Atlas vertebra that holds up your skull)
Kick and punt returns were covered aggressively. The special teamers were hustling tonight.
Sack Fest. Angerer and Harris had sacks as did Freeney (who was a monster as usual with multiple sacks and pressure).
Painter had two great TDs in the first half.
Thoracic Vertebrae (Bones in your upper back that you never really notice because nothing ever happens to them)
Addai came out in the first half running hard. Be warned that this blog was one of the first to point out Addai can’t be a three down feature back. He isn’t durable enough.
Harris was having a good game and in addition to his sack, he knocked down a pass.
Lumbar Vertebrae (Lower Back, the one that is always a pain and aches a lot)
We couldn’t stop the Packers first string defense. Keep that in mind, Painter-Haters, that Curtis was going against one of the best defenses in the NFL. When he was sacked, he was sacked by Clay Freakin’ Matthews!
Our receivers couldn’t hold on to passes. Keep that in mind, Painter-Haters, that the wide-outs dropped several of his passes that were right on the money.
We seemed to be doing a lot of adjustments to the D-Line. This is not good. This is what Peyton Manning is always exploiting with our version of the no-huddle and getting all those 12 men on the field penalties.
AV missed a FG.
Sacral and Coccygeal Vertebrae (your “tailbone,” frequently broken and injured, literally a pain in the ass)
Aaron Rodgers moustache. Really?
Yet another terrible commercial featuring “apps.” I hate smart phones. I hate “apps.” And I hate the Bud Lite commercial about the Beer App where guys are pouring beer from their phones. Really?
In the second quarter, we let the Packers pick up a 4th and 8. Really?
Oh, and the Colts were leading by 8 with 2 minutes to go in the game and they flubbed it. Leave it to Caldwell to let the Pack march down the field, score, make a 2-point conversion, recover an onside kick, pick up yards including a first down catch that is taken out of bounds to stop the clock, and win with a 50 yard field goal. Really?