Well, since embarking on a career as Colts blogger, I have begun to receive e-mails from The Father with suggestions for posts. I suspect he wants to blog vicariously through me.
So, like a good TV psychic, I will channel his spirit and offer up a post in response to Sports Illustrated’s recent article on the top 32 receivers of all time which lists are beloved Marvin Harrison at #6.
I should point out the following: 1. Note another beloved Colts receiver makes the #5 spot [another fave of mine--that guy invented the modern wide receiver position], 2. Randy Moss shouldn’t be anywhere near the top because he is a quitter, and 3. I’m OK with Marv being at #6 for not only all the football reasons [small market team, only 1 Super Bowl, not being Jerry Rice, etc.] but also because I think it’s cool enough to be the #6 guy all time of anything).
Anyway, I now bring you my own top five list, in which a prominent Colt appears and perhaps rectifies the situation involving Marv being #6 on SI’s list which I think The Father wanted to take issue with, so here we go:
Top Five All Time Gunslinging NFL Players (and guys to call when we are invaded by Zombies)
5. Shaun Rogers (Browns). This fella recently tried to bring a loaded gun on an airplane in the post 9/11 era. Given that you can’t even get shampoo through security, this sure shows a lot of gumption or moxie or chutzpah.
4. Pacman Jones (Titans). Strip club brawl in which one of his posse shoots some people. This kind of thing never seems to happen to me.
3. Tank Johnson (Bears). A stash of loaded weapons, but here’s the best part: in a house filled with little kids! Now that’s a guy prepared for Zombie invasion.
2. Plax (Giants). Shoots himself in the leg. Every time I think of this, I just smile. You smiled too. You didn’t? He stuck his gun in his pants and shot himself. Bet you smiled now.
And the top, all-time, gun incident in the NFL . . .
1. Marvin Harrison (Colts). Dude gets shot. No one can tell a straight story so DA drops the case. Everyone shocked to learn super quiet, serious guy is hardcore gangsta. Best part of the story, a stylish Belgian gun owned by 88 used in the shooting in a bucket at Marv’s carwash. Why such a fancy gun for a quiet, serious guy? Why at your car wash? Why do you own a car wash? But the story isn’t done yet. Later on, original dude gets shot dead then. Marv caught driving around with another gun. Now the FBI is finally lookin’ into all this instead of fighting terror and bad corporations. I say the streets of Philly are down one banger, and Marv’s is the place to go to arm yourself for a Zombie attack as well as to get your ride detailed.