Christmas Ruined My Football Game

After throwing up a post this week about figuring out when to leave a game, I decided to skip one entirely.

As most of our readers know, it is December, the month when Christmas sometimes happens.

I currently work at a brain factory and there isn’t a lot of money in brains these days.  The recession has hit the brain industry hard.  People just don’t need brains like they used to.

So, as a nod to economizing, I opted to not plonk down the usual dough on food and stayed home to listen to the game on the radio.

Normally, I do enjoy listening to the game on the radio and Bob Lamey can count me among his fans, but since it is approaching Christmas, things were a little more chaotic than usual.  My wife was asking me to help wrap packages including putting my finger on that one spot where the ribbon meets so she could tie a bow.  The kids were fighting and screaming, no matter how many threats I made about “Remember that Santa has contracted with the Federal government and is monitoring you with drones and tracking your activity on the internet.”  The dogs were barking and the cat climbed up the tree to eat tinsel.  The neighbors even stopped by for a little caroling in the third quarter.

Needless to say, I didn’t hear much of the game, nor had the wherewithal to take notes about it.

So, this is a cobbled together “analysis” brought together at the last second so that at least we would have something up after the game.

White Collar Award

I called The Father to get the scoop on the game.  He said the award should go to whoever gave the halftime speech because we came out much better in the second half.  I would have to agree.

[Editor’s note:  Did you know The Father always calls and tries to figure out who the award winners are before we go to press?  If I was a WOOF Winner, I’d be pretty upset.]

Reggie Wayne’s Blue Collar Award

I will give this to the guys–I am pretty sure they were guys–that showed up and played on our offensive line for the all those concussed dudes that didn’t play.  Sounds pretty Blue Collar to me.

And in keeping with theme of the day, Christmas will be our theme . . .

Seeing the Kids Shiny Happy Faces When They Wake You Up at 4 AM Before They Know How Disappointing Their Gifts Truly Are

  • Andrew Luck threw some passes

Luck does some stuff again kinda like in those other games

  • Reggie Wayne caught a pass or two
  • Ballard-Jones-Drew ran some
  • Our defense got an interception and ran it back like 3 yards for a TD

Pretending to Like Dickeys So That Dickey-Givers Feel Appreciated

  • Receivers dropped some passes or were overthrown
  • The Father said Mathis looked goofy on a play
  • Angerer is still not 100%
  • Satele left the game with an injury

Having to Find The “Perfect Gift” for Paddy Even Though He is Picking Mine up at Walgreens on Christmas Eve

  • The ref who refused to overturn the interception Luck threw from his knee
  • Too many penalties
  • Luck getting hit too many times
  • Defense giving up too many yards
  • Offense not generating enough yards

Now, I am going to go console myself with some eggnog since I just discovered any monkey with a keyboard could do this Colts blogging thing.